Terms of Service

You give us money. We stick your logo on a state. Someone else can pay slightly more and un-stick it. That's the whole product. If that sounds fun, welcome. If that sounds horrifying, the back button is right there.

By using 50states.lol (the "Site," the "Platform," the "glorious interactive map," or "this cursed thing") you agree to these Terms. If you're using it on behalf of a company, you're telling us you have the authority to bind that company — so make sure you actually do, Karen.

You are purchasing a non-exclusive, non-transferable digital placement on our interactive map — specifically, a branded slot tied to one of the 50 US states. You are not buying:

• The state itself (we checked, it's not for sale)
• Sovereignty over said state
• The right to make laws in said state
• Any kind of investment, security, or financial instrument
• A physical product of any kind
• Our undying loyalty (that costs extra)

Your placement goes live immediately upon payment confirmation. You'll get an email. It'll feel like winning something. Because you did.

This is not a bug. Another user can pay $2 more than the current price to take your state. This is the core mechanic of the platform. By purchasing a placement, you explicitly acknowledge and accept this risk, even if it makes you sad when it happens.

We will not intervene on your behalf. We will not ban the person who stole your state. We will, however, send you a very sympathetic email about it (not really, it's automated).

You can submit a brand name, logo URL, tagline, and website link. By submitting these you confirm that:

• You own or have rights to use this content
• It doesn't infringe anyone else's intellectual property
• It isn't illegal, hateful, deceptive, or deeply weird
• It won't make us look bad in front of our moms

We reserve the right to remove any placement that violates these terms without a refund. We won't be jerks about it, but we won't be powerless either.

Prices are set dynamically by the platform based on how many states have been claimed. Prices always go up, never down. This is by design. All payments are processed by Polar. We are not a payment processor. We are just the people who built the map.

All prices are in US dollars. No cryptocurrency. No barter. No "but I'll promote you on my newsletter."

The platform is provided "as is" and "as available." We make no warranties, express or implied, that the site will be bug-free, always online, or emotionally fulfilling. We are a very small team. Sometimes things break. We promise we care.

To the fullest extent permitted by applicable law, our total liability to you for anything related to this platform is limited to the amount you paid for your most recent placement. So if you paid $5, our maximum liability is $5. This is not a joke — well, the framing is, the legal clause isn't.

These Terms are governed by the laws of the United States. Any disputes you cannot resolve by emailing us nicely will be subject to binding arbitration. We genuinely hope it never comes to that.

We may update these Terms occasionally. When we do, we'll update the "Last updated" date above. Continued use of the platform after changes means you accept the new Terms. We'll try not to sneak anything awful in there.

Questions? Concerns? Compliments? Unsolicited opinions? zeeshana07x1@gmail.com. We read everything and respond to most things.